Shiva Love, Shakti Love in Practice: When to Give Your Love and When to Hold It

At its essence, love is attention. To direct your focus, care, and presence toward something or someone is to offer it your love. In doing so, you allow yourself to either shape or be shaped.

Attention as Love

Love is not a single act but an ongoing flow of energy—a current that moves through us and connects us to the world.

Shiva Love and Shakti Love are two distinct but interdependent expressions of this energy. Shiva Love is the active, creative force, while Shakti Love is the receptive, transformative force. Together, they form a sacred dance, a continuous ebb and flow of giving and receiving that reflects the very rhythm of life.

A more intentional way to express “not caring about something” is to frame it as choosing not to give it your love. Love, in this sense, is your attention and energy—the most profound gifts you can offer. To give something your love means directing your focus toward it, investing your care and presence. By withholding your love, you aren’t being indifferent—you are making a deliberate choice to reserve your attention for what truly matters or aligns with you in the moment. This conscious decision to give or hold love reflects the power and responsibility of directing your attention with intention.

Understanding the dynamics of attention as love helps us discern when to give our energy, when to hold it, and how to honor the interplay between shaping and being shaped.

The Two Currents of Love: Shiva and Shakti

Shiva Love: Giving Your Attention with Intention

Shiva Love is the creative force of love—the energy of action, manifestation, and transformation. It is the outward-facing love that seeks to mold, shape, and bring new possibilities into being.

When you offer Shiva Love, you step into the role of the creator, actively channeling your attention to envision what could be. This might look like supporting a loved one’s growth, bringing a project to life, or standing up for a cause you believe in. But for Shiva Love to be truly sacred, it must honor consent. Before shaping something, we must ask: “Is my attention wanted here? Is this person, situation, or project ready to receive my love?”

Without consent, Shiva Love risks becoming forceful, turning creation into control. With consent, it becomes a powerful, co-creative act.

Shakti Love: Surrendering Your Attention to Be Shaped

Shakti Love is the receptive force of love—the energy of surrender, openness, and transformation. It is the inward-facing love that allows the world to flow into you and change you.

To offer Shakti Love is to give your attention to something or someone in a way that lets them shape you. This could mean deeply listening to a friend, immersing yourself in a moment of awe, or allowing a challenging experience to transform you. Like Shiva Love, Shakti Love also requires consent. Surrendering is not about passivity or losing yourself—it’s about choosing to be shaped in ways that align with your inner truth.

Surrendering to another’s Shiva Love is a sacred act of trust. It means allowing yourself to be molded by their vision while maintaining your sense of agency. This balance of openness and boundaries ensures that your Shakti Love is both enriching and respectful.

Balancing Shiva and Shakti: When to Hold and When to Flow

The balance between Shiva and Shakti love is an ongoing dance of giving and receiving, shaping and being shaped. But how do you know when to offer your love and when to hold it? The answer lies in awareness, gratitude, and consent.

        1.        Awareness: Where is your attention going? Are you giving it intentionally, or is it being taken without your consent?

        2.        Gratitude: Are you honoring the role of both Shiva and Shakti in your life? Do you acknowledge the interdependence of shaping and being shaped?

        3.        Consent: Are you asking permission before shaping someone or something? Are you giving your permission to be shaped? Does the other person welcome your desire to surrender to them? Or do they want something else?

The Role of Consent

Both giving and receiving love, attention, or transformation require a mutual agreement:

        •        Consent to Transform: Before you give your Shiva Love—before you actively shape and change someone or something—it’s essential to honor whether that person or situation is open to your influence. Pushing past their boundaries dishonors the sacred exchange.

        •        Consent to Be Transformed: Similarly, giving Shakti Love means you consent to surrender to the shaping force of another, trusting in their vision and intention to guide your transformation.

When consent is absent, resistance arises. That resistance can manifest in blockages in personal relationships, creative endeavors, or even your interactions with the universe itself.

Attention as the Currency of Love

At the heart of Shiva and Shakti Love is attention. When you give your attention, you give your love. And when you withhold your attention, you choose to hold your love. This discernment—when to give and when to hold—is a sacred act of self-awareness.

To give your attention in a Shiva way is to focus your energy outward, shaping what you touch with your creative force. To give your attention in a Shakti way is to let the world shape you, trusting in its ability to transform you for the better.

And sometimes, the most loving act is to hold back your attention. This is not an act of indifference but of respect—respect for boundaries, timing, and the natural rhythm of flow.

When to Give Your Love and Attention

1. Listening for Readiness

Before giving your attention, ask: Is this person, project, or situation inviting my love? Mutual consent is the foundation of any sacred exchange. Without it, your attention may feel intrusive rather than nourishing.

Giving love, whether Shiva or Shakti, begins with listening. Is your love invited? Is the person, project, or situation open to receiving your attention? Without mutual readiness, even the best intentions can feel intrusive.

2. Giving with Intention

I invite you to reflect on the dynamics of giving and receiving, whether you are applying your attention towards a relationship, a situation or a project or physical or energetic dynamics.

        •        Shiva Love: When offering your attention in a Shiva way, ensure that your intent is to create, not control. Offer your creative energy with care and purpose. Shape without imposing, act without controlling, and let your vision align with the needs and readiness of what you’re shaping.

        •        Shakti Love: When offering your attention in a Shakti way, your openness must come from a place of trust and reverence. Let yourself be shaped by experiences, relationships, and moments that feel aligned and nourishing. Choosing to give your love to a person or experience means allowing it to work on you, transforming you in unexpected ways.

 Giving love is an act of courage and generosity, but it requires alignment and respect for the boundaries of others—and yourself.

When to Hold Your Love and Attention

In any given situation, you may be channeling the energy or Shiva, the creator or that of Shakti, the work of art. Either way, it is important to be attuned to whether the energy is flowing or whether it is encountering resistance.

1. Recognizing Resistance

Resistance is the universe’s way of saying, “Not yet.” It may come from a person, a project, or even your own inner world. When you encounter resistance, pause and reflect: Is this the right time? Is there consent? Is something missing?

2. The Art of Holding Back

Holding your love is not withdrawing—it’s creating space. By holding back your attention, you allow for clarity and alignment to emerge. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do is to wait, observe, and trust the natural flow of life.

The Wisdom of Resistance: A Guide to Alignment and Consent

Resistance arises when the flow of love and attention encounters a lack of consent, alignment, or readiness. In the dance of Shiva Love and Shakti Love, where one shapes and the other surrenders to being shaped, consent is the foundation that allows this exchange to flourish. Without it, resistance emerges—whether from a person, a situation, or the universe itself. When we try to transform someone or something that hasn’t invited our energy, resistance becomes a natural barrier, safeguarding boundaries and integrity. Similarly, when we are asked to surrender to someone’s vision without our consent, resistance manifests within us as a refusal to be shaped.

At times, resistance isn’t the result of misalignment but of mutual hesitation, as when two people both long to surrender (Shakti Love) but neither steps into the active role of Shiva Love. This can create a sense of frustration or stagnation, where no one initiates movement. Indecision, though it feels like resistance, can instead signal a deeper need for clarity, trust, or readiness to embrace Shiva energy and create forward momentum. Sometimes, even a small action—an idea or a question—can break the stalemate and restore flow.

The Resistance of the Universe

This dynamic also plays out in the broader fabric of existence: when we pour energy into a cause or project that isn’t aligned with the current conditions, the universe itself pushes back.

Sometimes, no matter how much energy we pour into shaping something, it doesn’t yield to our efforts. This resistance may come from a missing piece we’ve overlooked—an element we haven’t accounted for in our creative process.

In these moments, the universe seems to say, “Not yet. You’re missing something.” It could be timing, resources, alignment, or consent from the forces at play. And the resistance can feel infinite, as though the full weight of existence is holding the line.

Far from being a rejection, resistance serves as a powerful guide, inviting us to pause, recalibrate, and honor the natural rhythm of flow and consent. It asks us to trust the natural flow of life and to respect the balance between Shiva and Shakti energies.

Practical Tools for Discernment

1. Questions to Ask Yourself

        •        Is my love wanted here?

        •        Am I offering Shiva Love (shaping) or Shakti Love (being shaped)?

        •        Is there alignment and consent?

2. Signs of Misalignment

• Overshaping: Feeling drained, resentful, or unacknowledged.

 • Overreceiving: Feeling overwhelmed, stagnant, or disconnected from your sense of agency.

 • Both Shaping: Experiencing conflict, competition, or tension as both parties attempt to assert control or lead. A lack of flow may arise when no one steps back to allow for receptivity, resulting in power struggles or creative clashes.

 • Both Receiving: Feeling stagnant, indecisive, or frustrated as neither party initiates action or direction. Progress stalls as both wait for the other to lead, and a sense of passivity or avoidance may take hold.

In both cases, the misalignment highlights an imbalance in the dynamic flow of Shiva and Shakti energy.

Conclusion: Attention as Sacred Love

To love is to give your attention—to shape the world or allow the world to shape you. It is a sacred dance of Shiva and Shakti, flowing in and out of balance, teaching us when to act, when to surrender, and when to simply hold space.

One moment, you might embody Shiva, actively shaping the world. The next, you might embody Shakti, allowing the world to shape you.

Ultimately, Shiva Love and Shakti Love is a dynamic, consensual dance between creation and surrender, action and receptivity. Whether you are the artist shaping the masterpiece or the masterpiece allowing itself to be shaped, the exchange is sacred. And when resistance arises, it’s an invitation to pause, reflect, and recalibrate—an opportunity to deepen your awareness of the currents of love and attention flowing through you.

In relationships, projects, and self-care, this dance becomes a practice of awareness, gratitude, and consent.

To love fully is to honor both currents—to be the artist and the masterpiece, the creator and the creation.

As you move through your days, ask yourself:

        •        Where am I placing my attention?

        •        Am I giving my love in a way that feels authentic and reciprocal?

        •        Am I receiving love with gratitude and openness?

By honoring the flow of attention and love, you create a life that is both creative and transformative—a life where Shiva and Shakti dance in harmony

With love and reverence,

Johnny Pecan Pie

Reflection and Application

This concept invites us to approach our choices and actions with more intentionality.

When to Give Your Love

        1.        Listening for Readiness:

        •        How to recognize when a person or situation is open to receiving your active love.

        •        Signs of consent: Verbal cues, body language, energetic alignment.

        •        Avoiding the trap of imposing Shiva Love when it’s not invited.

        2.        Giving with Integrity:

        •        Shiva Love as an intentional act of co-creation, not conquest.

        •        Ensuring your love is offered in service, not control or ego.

Part 3: When to Hold Your Love

        1.        Recognizing Resistance:

        •        Understanding when the person, situation, or project is resisting transformation.

        •        Reflecting on whether the resistance is temporary (a timing issue) or fundamental (a lack of alignment or consent).

        2.        Practicing Patience and Respect:

        •        How holding your love can be an act of love itself.

        •        The wisdom of stepping back to honor the natural flow of life.

Giving and Holding Love in Shakti Practice

        1.        Surrendering to Transformation:

        •        How to recognize when it’s time to receive and let yourself be shaped.

        •        Balancing trust and discernment in surrendering to others or circumstances.

        2.        Holding Space for Yourself:

        •        Recognizing when to withhold Shakti Love, maintaining your boundaries to avoid over-receptivity or burnout.

        •        When giving your love (attention), ask yourself: Am I offering this in a Shiva way or a Shakti way? Is this situation, person, or project open to receiving my love in this form?

        •        When resisting transformation, ask yourself: Am I unconsciously rejecting an opportunity for Shakti Love? Have I truly consented to be shaped by this?

Part 5: Practical Tools for Discernment

        1.        Questions to Ask Yourself:

        •        Is this a moment for Shiva Love or Shakti Love?

        •        Is there consent? Is there alignment?

        •        What is my intention in giving or receiving?

        2.        Signs You Might Be Overgiving:

        •        Feeling depleted, resentful, or unacknowledged.

        •        Forcing outcomes or ignoring resistance.

        3.        Signs You Might Be Overreceiving:

        •        Losing your sense of agency or boundaries.

        •        Feeling stagnant or overwhelmed by external influence.

In Practice: Shiva and Shakti in Daily Life

Here are some ways to bring Shiva and Shakti love into balance in your life:

        •        In Relationships: Pay attention to whether you are giving love (Shiva) or receiving it (Shakti). Are you shaping your partner’s experience or allowing them to shape yours?

        •        In Projects: When working on something creative, ask yourself: Am I in a Shiva state, actively shaping, or in a Shakti state, allowing inspiration to flow into me?

        •        In Self-Care: Alternate between actively caring for yourself (e.g., exercising, setting goals) and surrendering to rest, reflection, and simply being.